Hear no evil. See no evil. Speak no evil.

“Teen girls gang raped and hanged from a tree”. That’s the headline that assaulted my eyes this morning on Twitter. I shrugged it aside because I was looking for good news this bright and sunny Saturday morning. I visited the Reuters site and came across the same headline and it hit me full in the face in big capital letters. TEEN GIRLS GANG RAPED AND HANGED FROM A TREE.

I was wide awake now. These were two human beings sexually violated and murdered. Two innocent lives destroyed and extinguished. And you know what’s surprising? While I am nauseated by the news, my initial reaction was to ignore it. The spate of news about sexual violence in our country is beginning to desensitize me and I’m sure a lot of you too. It scares me. Its truly frightening. It’s scary because this is something that happens every few weeks (We know this because its reported in our favorite paper or website or news channel). And that is the problem. It’s reported by the media only when there is a huge public outcry. It’s sensationalized and there are various “experts” on umpteen news channels and everyone’s really upset and outraged for a few days. And then we forget the victims and casualties. The crime is forgotten. And life goes on.

NO! It does not. Not for them and their families. Those lives have been destroyed and can never be mended. The NCRB statistics for the year 2012 are an eye opener, but I wanted to shut my eyes. 24923 cases registered for rape in 2012 alone. That’s nearly 70 rapes a day. That means somewhere in India, right now, a woman is being put through the most horrific and morally degrading experience of her life. An experience that will never go away. One that will haunt her forever. And yet our Mulayam Singh Yadav says, “Boys will be boys. They make mistakes”. Our culture summed up aptly in one sentence. It makes me ashamed to be a man or “boy”. It also makes me ashamed to be an Indian.

But rape is only one aspect of the big picture. The real problem lies with our society and our culture. The degradation of women starts at home. The total number of cases registered for cruelty at the hands of the husband or in laws was 49170 in 2001. In 2012 it was 106527. That’s more than a 50% increase. I shudder to think of how many go unregistered.

In retrospect we are all to blame. We are all guilty. We are all docile and it’s just plain that we don’t care. We are Gandhi’s three monkeys. See no evil. Hear no evil. Speak no evil. As for the rapists? They are men of action. They do only evil.

The predicament....

I was on my break when I got the call. The best I could manage was a feeble and hardly discernable squawk though my Medu Wada filled mouth. My wife told me she was pregnant with our first child. For a few moments I was blank as the words didn’t quite compute. Don’t get me wrong, a child was something we both had decided on and had been trying for a few months, but still sometimes thinking about it and discussing it doesn’t really prepare you for “The Real Thing”. After the first few minutes of going thru various stages of confusion, cold sweats, happiness and of course mild doubt. It could be a false alarm after all. So I finally managed to take control of my feelings and went home to celebrate and congratulate my wife.

After the first few days of excitement, I began to worry. I was happy but I began to worry. And I began to pray. I began to pray my child would not be a girl. I prayed not because I didn’t want a girl child. I did. I prayed because I was afraid. I was afraid of the trials and hardships she would have to go thru all her life. I prayed because I would not be able to shelter her from them. I prayed because of the terrible things that happen to women in our country and around the world.

Am I paranoid? My friends definitely think so. Maybe I am. Or maybe I’m not. But here are some things that make me worried. According to a UN Index in 2011, India ranked 134^th out of 187 countries, the index included details from women in politics to sexual health to education and employment. India was ranked lower that China and Saudi Arabia. Yes you read that right. I live in Mumbai and I’ve always heard people say what a safe city this is. Seriously? My women friends tell me quite otherwise. They are groped on buses and trains, auto rickshaws, followed and eve teased. Or maybe this is paranoia. But then why would most of my lady friends, even my wife make this up. A few years back an ex-boyfriend threatened my sister with acid, and demanded two lac rupees to keep the details of their relationship under wraps. She promptly told him to shove it where the sun don’t shine and that was the end of that. But I shudder to think of the consequences. My friends tell me this is part of life in the city but I am unconvinced. My lady friends tell me they ignore it when they can. But is that really the solution? Why should our women, our mothers and our sisters, our wives or our daughters, have to put up with this?

I don’t know the answers. I only have my questions…. And my fears.

My daughter was born on the 9^th of July 2011. I love her and hope I can do my best to give her a balanced childhood and the strength to face the dangers of this world. And as a father I can only pray that God looks down on all his children.